so, i just found some of my old tapes from high school days.
i watched the 1992 Mtv music awards again...wow. it explains a lot about me, i think.
the other day at work, the guy i may be working with soon said that his jazz station just went off the air...so, what did i listen to on the radio?
i said i usually like 98rock. he goes,"Oh! Your a rocker!"
it never hit me until then, and then watching that videoTAPE...yes, a VHS, made it all that much more clear to me.
later, i found a tape of Pauly Shore, Pearl Jam unplugged, Nirvana, the Cure, and other Greats of the late 80's, 90's.
it's amazing that they were my heros...they were the people who i followed and learned about life from in my teen years. with no dad to help me, they were the next best thing. ugh. not ideal role models, man!
when Mtv actually played music videos and had interviews with rock stars.
no wonder i don't have any cooth or shame.
i'm perplexed about a lot of things lately.
where are these so called "hero's" now?
what's gonna happen to them?
is Kurt Cobain really dead?
i wanted to be a rock star and i set my life to attain that goal. the long haired guys...the mosh pits, the head banging...
Honus isn't even there yet, but he seems like he's real close and he's been jamming a long time...and he can rock the set!
i REALLY wasn't supposed to be a rock star. if Honus hasn't broken through yet...there would have been no hope for me!
a few gigs here, a time to party there...and now...reality and practicality set in even deeper as the next generation starts taking the baton that i've been fumbling with.
however, one thing i know...i lived the rock-n-roll lifestyle for a short blip in time. and they can't take that away from me!
now, i see that my day is over, my time has past. it's time to move on to new pastures.
it's amazing the music that tries to define a generation.
of course, we had all sorts and underground stuff, but the grunge got me...tooth and nail! hehe....dokken - remember that band! hahahahaha....
and then, the rave scene...but that's another story!
i'm getting old and i'm starting to feel old.
sooner or later, i'm going to die~